You Deserve A Life Of Joy And Health

"How come we know what to do, but we still don't do it."

I have been a big dude my whole life.  I think I joined Weight Watchers for the first time when I was 12.  The last time, when I was 39.  I have lost 100 pounds twice in my life, but could never keep the weight off.  Like so many others, I would always resort to old habits because I didn't have any other way to cope with my emotions.  Food was my reward, my companion, and my favorite thing in the world.  And when I turned 40, it showed.  I couldn't even weigh myself at home anymore.  My home scale only went up to 450 pounds.  I had crossed over into the 500's and I was miserable.

"Even though we want to be free, we still don't choose it."

My knees hurt.  Really bad.  I could barely get out of chairs or cars.  It became almost impossible to put on my socks and my shoes.  I was pre-diabetic.  I would wheeze constantly and  had developed adult onset asthma and had to use an inhaler daily.  I could barely walk more than 10 feet without being completely out of breath.  I had constant chest pains and frequent heart palpitations.  I had plantar fasciitis.  Sitting down hurt my knees.  Standing up hurt my feet.  I had poor circulation and numbness in my feet too.  I couldn't get an Uber because I was never sure if I would fit in the car.  I couldn't fly anywhere because I couldn't fit in the airplane seats.  I would break furniture all the time.  I was miserable, tortured and in constant pain.

"Whatever it takes, I will not refrain."

It was time to make a choice.  I had to get help and learn how to take care of myself again or I had to choose to die.  As miserable as I was, I didn't want to die.  I had a lot to live for and a lot I still wanted to accomplish.  It seemed so impossible to change but I started by talking about it to friends and family.  That led to finding some people who could help me.  I went to an amazing retreat and joined Overeaters Anonymous.  Once I learned more about my problem and all the other people out there who struggle the same way I do, I started to see hope.  I went all in and decided I would do whatever it took to save my life.  I started going to OA meetings, calling other OA members daily, I started reading and writing daily.  I also started meditating and praying everyday.  I can't really explain it, but an actual miracle happened to me.  All my emotional baggage was removed.  I finally felt loved, accepted and worthy.  I was finally able to stick to a meal plan, to care for myself and to realize I truly deserve to be happy.

My song "Pain" is dedicated to all the people who have had this struggle in their life.  We know we need to change, but we just can't seem to do it.  We know we are killing ourselves, but that still doesn't seem to be enough.  I am here to tell you that you can change.  It's closer than you think.  Do not give up on yourself.  Start talking about it.  Out loud to other people.  That is the first step to getting better.  You have to stop making excuses and admit it's a problem.  It gets so much better when you do, I promise.  If you need someone to talk to, I am always here.  And if you are ready to change, I highly encourage you to visit:  https://oa.org/.  It changed my life.  And it can change yours too.

"I will not be confined to this life of Pain."

Pain - The new single from Chris Swan.
Coming July 1, 2018!

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Pain: The New Single From Chris Swan

Announcing the new single from Chris Swan and Soul Motivation Records...

"I deserve a life of joy and health,
I deserve to live and love myself,
Whatever it takes, I will not refrain,
'Cuz I will not be confined to this life of pain."

Pain
Coming July 1st, 2018

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Creed and Vision Is Here!

Creed and Vision
The new single from Chris Swan is here!  

I have struggled with being confident and I use to overcompensate by tearing myself down. My song "Creed and Vision" is a hip-hop mantra that we can all say to ourselves daily to remind us we need to be confident AND humble every day. And despite what I use to think, it is possible and even necessary to be both to become the people we were created to be.

Click here or on the picture to get a FREE download of Creed and Vision!

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Creed and Vision: The Story Behind The Song

Hit play to hear what inspired my song Creed and Vision and what I hope you get out of it!  And be sure to share this video with those who you think need to hear it!

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How To Be Confident And Humble At The Same Time

"I want the confidence to be strong."

I have always struggled with confidence.  It probably has a lot to do with growing up as an overweight kid.  I always felt fat.  I always felt like I wasn't good enough.  I remember even praying to God over and over to come into my life and let me into heaven.  I thought I wasn't good enough and the only way to get in was to beg.  I've done a lot of counseling, reading and reflecting over the years and I'm finally getting to a place in my 40's where I like myself.  I have learned that I am enough, just as I am, because I am a creation of God.  That is where my worth comes from.  Not from other people, which is where I use to try to get it from being the people pleaser that I am.  I see God in my life every day, in little things, and that reminds me that I matter.  And since I matter, then I have the tools to be more confident and assertive in my life.  I'm still a people pleaser, but I am working on it.  I am learning to stand up for myself when I need to. 

"But the humility to be wrong."

My biggest fear of becoming confident was that I would become a jerk.  I saw confidence as a means to be cocky, to operate like the world revolves around you, and to walk all over the people in your life.  No way did I want to be that guy!  So to compensate, I would make sure I remained as humble as possible.  But then being humble started to mean putting myself down.  So in my efforts to not become a self-centered, arrogant person, I became a depressed, beaten down, and incredibly frustrated person.  I was miserable.

"I want to lead and listen, have the creed and vision."

I had to learn that it is ok to be confident.  Matter of fact, you can be confident and still be humble.  Confidence does not have to equal arrogance.  You can be confident in yourself, love and respect yourself deeply, and still be a humble servant to others.  I'd even say you HAVE to learn to love yourself first in order to be a humble servant to others.  I know from experience that tearing yourself down to lift others up only makes you a resentful, bitter person.  And a resentful, bitter person is not one who wants to serve.  This person becomes antisocial and selfish, becoming the complete opposite of the person you set out to be.

My song "Creed and Vision" is a hip-hop mantra that we can all say to ourselves daily to remind us we need to be confident AND humble every day.  And despite what I use to think, it is possible and even necessary to be both to become the people God created us to be.

"It's ok to know our strength.
It's ok to know our weakness.
We use our weakness to make each other stronger.
'Cuz if one shines, we all shine longer."

Creed and Vision - The new single from Chris Swan.
Coming June 1, 2018!

Lost?  Not sure where to go next?

Creed and Vision: The New Single From Chris Swan

Announcing the new single from Chris Swan and Soul Motivation Records...

"It's ok to know our strength,
It's ok to know our weakness.
We use our weakness to make each other stronger,
'Cuz if one shines, we all shine longer."

Creed and Vision
Coming June 1st, 2018

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Clouds by Trip Lee

This one's for the dreamers.

SONGS THAT HELP BY SOUL MOTIVATION RECORDS

This song has been one of my go-to jams for a while now.  I feel like it's time I make sure you are hip to this tune.  This song makes me smile.  This song is all about dreaming.  It's all about making sure you wake up on the right side of the bed no matter which side you actually wake up on.  You can choose every day to live for your dreams.  This is your time.  This is your spot.  And if you want to live in the clouds, do it.  It's a whole other world up there.

Way up in the clouds like I'm on one.

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How To Stop The Madness

Do you ever feel like this?

Do you ever just start to freak out because you realize the madness is never going to end.  Your schedule is full everyday of stuff that you don't really want to do.  And the way you get through it is by telling yourself you just have to power through and then it will be ok.  But then you realize, no it won't.  Because as soon as I'm done pushing through, the whole cycle starts all over again.  It's never going to stop.  I'm never going to get a break.  And you hold out hope that the special thing you are working on is going to come save the day.  But then you realize you are 41 and it hasn't saved the day yet.  What if it never does?  Can I really live in this misery every day for the rest of my life?  I don't think I can handle that yet but what choice do I have?  I have to do the things I have to do.  But I can't stand the thought of doing them one more day.  Then panic and depression sets in.  It feels like there is no way to fix this.

Sound familiar?

This is, honestly, a thought I have several times a week.  I get scared that I am never going to achieve my goals.  I get scared that I'm never going to win and scared that I am going to be stuck in this rat race forever.  That's when it is more important than ever to make sure I am living with purpose.  I have to have a goal in site.  I need to know what I am working for.  If I can see that light at the end of the tunnel, then I can push through for one more day.  It's not easy, but it's worth it.

And think of the other option:  to give up completely.  I could throw my hands up and give up, but what is the point of that?  What does that really solve?  Without purpose, life becomes meaningless real quick.  And that's when I find myself in bed eating ice cream all day.

You are not alone.

We all struggle with feeling overwhelmed.  We all find ourselves stuck in a crazy cycle that we think will last forever.  But the truth is, it doesn't have to.  You do have the power to change it.  Change is not always easy but you can start right now.  Today.  Find your purpose.  Find what really makes you excited.  Set your goals.  And then keep your eye on the prize.  Be happy you get to work so hard at something you love.  That's how you change the world.  And that is how you get the madness to end. 

H.O.P.E. Is Here!

H.O.P.E.
The new single from Chris Swan is here!  

Life is stressful. People are tense. The political climate in our country is volatile. And I don't think I have ever seen so much division in our country as I do now. And if you aren't careful, you can be easily swept up in this ball of stress and start to believe the world is doomed. But I am here to tell you that hope is alive and well.

Click here or on the picture to get a FREE download of H.O.P.E.!

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H.O.P.E.: The Story Behind The Song

Hit play to hear what inspired my song H.O.P.E. and what I hope you get out of it!  And be sure to share this video with those who you think need to hear it!

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How To Find Hope

"I think we all could use some hope."

Life is stressful.  People are tense.  The political climate in our country is volatile.  And I don't think I have ever seen so much division in our country as I do now.  I think it's great that people are speaking up and sharing their truth.  But it's also frustrating to see so many people talking but not listening.  There is so much finger pointing going on, telling us who to blame for our problems.  And if you aren't careful, you can be easily swept up in this ball of stress and start to believe the world is doomed.  It's so easy to just focus on all the negativity, the bickering and the chaos.  It's everywhere.  It's on Facebook, Twitter, at the grocery store, at church.  Everywhere.  I've seen so many friends get lost in anger to the point it's hard to even talk to them any more.  And I think a lot of people are so consumed with the darkness that they can't see the light.  But I'm here to tell you, there is hope.  The world is still full of wonderful, caring people.  There are people doing amazing things every day to make the world a better place.  The world is still full of love, wonder, and adventure.  None of that has changed.  It's all still there but we've gotten so lost that it's hard to see it.

"If you just open your eyes you'll see it's not so hard to cope with the bad now if you see it somehow."

Every day we have a choice.  What are we going to believe today?  Are we going to believe it's the end of the world?  That there is no way we can fix the damage that has been done?  That there is no way to find unity in such a divided world?  Or are we going to choose hope?  Are we going to choose to believe in people again?  Are we going to believe that love can truly conquer all?  Are we going to believe that we are going to be ok?  It's up to us to choose it every day.  We can't let someone else's agenda derail us.  We have to choose the enlightened path and stick to it.  Because we know at the end of the path, is all the hope we can stand.

"And if you want it then you got to give it."

Once we choose it, we can help change the climate around us.  How do we change it?  By giving.  If you want hope, then you have to give hope.  We have to share kindness with others around us.  We have to encourage the checkout person at the grocery store and tell them they are doing a great job.  We have to help the homeless man standing at the side of the road asking for money.  We have to smile.  We have to find joy.  We have to stop arguing on Facebook and start having face to face conversations.  And most of all, we have to LISTEN.  We need to stop talking and start listening.  Because we all want the same things.  We all want peace, joy and a happy life.  The only way we get to have those things is if we swallow our pride and listen to the hearts of those around us.  If you choose it, believe it and give it, hope will always be there promising a better day.  If you don't give up on hope, then it will never give up on you.

"You don't have to close your eyes no more, just look and see the dream you wished for."

H.O.P.E - The new single from Chris Swan.
Coming May 1, 2018!

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Everything's Alright From Jesus Christ Superstar

Live TV at it's best!

SONGS THAT HELP BY SOUL MOTIVATION RECORDS

I am a sucker for musicals, especially Andrew Lloyd Weber musicals.  So when I heard they were doing a live version of Jesus Christ Superstar on NBC with John Legend and Sara Bareilles, I was in.  I expected it to be decent but was actually blown away by how amazing it was!  The set was awesome, the cinematography was off the charts and the performances were spot on!  I loved it.  But the biggest take away for me was that I had forgotten how great the songs were in Jesus Christ Superstar.  Especially this one.  I love the simple melody and encouraging message of "Everything's Alright."  And although it's a song sung to Jesus at a stressful time in His life, I think it's a song that can encourage us all at a stressful time in ours.  Simple and sweet, the message rings true...

Everything is alright, everything's fine.

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New Singles From Chris Swan Every Month!

Yep, you heard that right.  Starting May 1 2018, I will be releasing a new single every month up until the release of my new album in November.  Oh yea, I have a new album coming out in November!  I'm so excited for you to hear it.  It's all about the simple joys and complex heartaches that we all go through in life.  This album is me talking to you about the struggles I have as well as the moments of victory.  I want you to know you are not alone.  And I want you to know that there is always H.O.P.E.!

I know you will find peace, comfort and encouragement in these songs just like I do.  And with the power of music on your side, you are destined to live the amazing life you deserve!

H.O.P.E.
The new single from Chris Swan
Coming May 1, 2018!

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Forest Whitaker by Brother Ali

To everyone out there who is a little different...

SONGS THAT HELP BY SOUL MOTIVATION RECORDS

This song is a jam and such a great reminder we need to love ourselves right now.  As we are today.  And anyone who doesn't love you the way you are does not deserve your friendship.  You are perfect.  Right now.  Today.  The way you are is the way you were created to be.  Sure, we can always do things to better ourselves, but never think for a minute you have to wait to be happy.  Don't tell yourself you'll be happy "when I..."  Be happy today.  Right now.  Love yourself and be thankful you are an original.  You are the only you.  And that's amazing.  Just like you.

I'm a be alright, I'm a be okay.

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How To Find True Freedom

All we want is to be free.  Free to choose.  Free to live our lives.  Free to pursue happiness.  But are we truly free?  There are so many things that we allow to trap us and keep us imprisoned.  Sometimes it's our job. Sometimes it's an unhealthy relationship.  And sometimes it's drugs, alcohol or even food.  Our lives can get so crazy and so filled with stress.  And it's only natural for us to seek out ways to relieve our stress.  And sadly, many times we choose those things that end up enslaving us.  The comfort that we get from these things makes us think we are doing something to make our lives better.  But these comforts are only temporary and usually leave us feeling worse than we did before.

True freedom comes from letting go of the things we think are making us happy, but are actually making us miserable.  We think that it is more freeing to be able to eat whatever we want and not have a bunch of restrictions on our diet.  But the truth is, you become trapped by the bad food and the bad habits.  You become a slave to your addiction.  Every day you have to do a whole checklist of things to keep up the addiction.  It's a lot of work!  Making sure you have ice cream and pizza in the freezer.  Or the right alcohol.  Or cigarettes.  You spend half of your day running errands to make sure you have your comforts.  And even though you know you will feel gross afterward, you still sit down and eat that entire pizza in one sitting because you are controlled by your addiction.  You may not even want it anymore.  It may not even sound good, but it's your only source of happiness so you decide to do it anyway.  That does not sound like freedom to me.

True freedom is learning to let go of our addictions.  To just let God or the universe take them away from us so we can start focusing on the things that will make us truly happy.  Better health.  More friends.  More love.  Getting a dog.  Going outside more.  Watching sunrises and sunsets.  These are the things that make us feel truly free.  No longer trapped by an addiction that keeps us at home in front of the TV, we now have the freedom to explore the world.  We have the energy to go outside.  To travel.  To spend time with people.  That is the life we truly want.  That is freedom!

So true freedom comes from beating these bad habits.  Eliminating them and bringing more true joy givers into our lives.  For me, it’s time with family, hanging with friends, getting a dog, going to church, spending more time outside and creating original music.  See more sunrises and sunsets.  Go to more movies.  Go to more concerts and Broadway shows.  Get involved in community events.  Give.  Love.  Achieve goals.  That’s where we find true joy and true freedom.  Free from the shackles of our addictions and bad habits.  We can truly let them go and not be trapped.  Not be blocked from feeling true joy.  

True freedom.  It's out there.  It's right in front of you and all you have to do is grab it.  But it comes at a price and that price is the hard work it takes to break these addictions.  Bad habits have a way of becoming engrained in our lives and getting rid of them is serious work.  It takes true dedication and commitment.  But if you can focus on loving yourself and taking care of yourself, then you will start to feel that you deserve better habits.  Once you feel you deserve them, then you will have the strength to truly change.  It's not easy but it's worth it.

Aren't you tired of feeling trapped?  Aren't you tired of not experiencing the joy of being free?  You deserve it and you can have it but you have to go get it.  No one is coming to save you.  No one is coming to take these addictions away from you.  It's time for you to look in the mirror and truly face these bad habits.  Be honest with yourself.  What is holding you back?  Name it.  Say it out loud.  Write it down.  And then make a plan to destroy it.  Because I promise, once you do, true freedom awaits!

Rose Garden by Shad

You can't be mad or sad while you listen to Shad.

SONGS THAT HELP BY SOUL MOTIVATION RECORDS

See, I'm a rapper so that rhymed.  But seriously, Shad is quickly becoming one of my new favorite rappers.  He has such an infectious, positive energy and never does that shine as bright as it does in his song Rose Garden.  Such a fun, sample-heavy jam.  The hook says it all:

I didn't promise you a rose garden along with the sunshine,
There's gonna be some rain sometimes, watch out.

There is going to be some rain sometime and it's important to be ready for it.  But after the rain, you can kick back and enjoy your rose garden.  No reason you can't have both.  So sit back, enjoy the rain and enjoy this happy jam by Shad.

Can't cower when the rain falls.

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Happiness Is For The Birds

It happens every morning.  Well before my alarm clock goes off.  Just as the sun is starting to come up, the birds outside my bedroom window lose their minds.  They start chirping and rustling around, so excited about a new day.  And while I am trying to get a few more hours of sleep, all I can hear is these happy little birds outside my window.  My initial reaction is anger.  I need my beauty sleep!  Don't the birds understand this?  But why does this annoy me so much?  Why can’t I join in on their joy fest?

It’s instinct for a bird to be happy in the morning.  They don’t have the human-made stresses that block their happiness.   They don't have to worry about whose turn it is to drive the carpool today.  They don't have to dread going to a dead end job that they hate.  They don't have to spend the day worrying about if they are overeating or not exercising enough.  When the sun comes up, they couldn’t be more excited to be alive.  Not a worry in the world.  All they care about is how great it is that the sun is coming up.  It's a new day.  New opportunities.  New worms to eat.  How exciting! 

As I started thinking more about it, I thought it was interesting that my first reaction was anger.  How could I be angry at something for being happy?  True, it was interrupting my oh-so-precious beauty sleep, but that was not their intention.  It's not like the birds are out there planning how to make my life miserable.  They just have such a strong sense of joy that they can't contain themselves.  They just have to let the world know how awesome it is to have this new day so they sing.  They shout.  They play.  They live! 

And this may sound a little corny, but I really want to be more like those birds.  I want to be excited to be alive every morning.  I want to see all the opportunities that await me when the sun starts coming up.  And I want to sing it out loud for everyone to hear, even those people that don't want to hear it.  Because it's been my experience that the people that don't want to hear it are the people that need to hear it the most.

I need to hear those birds every morning.  I need them there to remind me that today is going to awesome.  I'm alive and that's a gift.  I don't need to sleep the day away.  I need to get up and start singing.  Start shouting.  Start playing.  Start living!  And I need to tell the world that new opportunities and new worms await!

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Try Again by Aaliyah

It's been a long time, I shouldn't have left you without a dope beat to step to.

SONGS THAT HELP BY SOUL MOTIVATION RECORDS

I have always loved this song.  Mainly because it's just a dope song with a dope Timbaland beat.  But as I grow older and wiser, I've been looking more at the message in the songs I like.  This is a great, classic message.  If at first you don't succeed, brush yourself off and try again.  Yes, this song is talking about a relationship because, you know, all popular songs have to talk about love.  But the hook and the message is still clear and can be applied to whatever you are trying to achieve.  Success takes hard work.  Everybody fails.  But the people who win are the ones who never give up.  So if you ever have a day where you are thinking about giving up, just hit play and listen.

Dust yourself off and try again.

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How To Find True Joy

Name your vice.  We all have at least one.  And while some are cute and innocent, others create a huge burden and destroy lives.  And most vices keep us from experiencing true joy.  They steal it away and leave us feeling empty and drained.  There is only one way to find our way back to feeling true joy.

You get to a certain point in life where you have to weigh what's really important.  You need to take good care of yourself but at the same time not torture yourself.  You need to have little things you can look forward to throughout your day.  Some of these can be good for us like going for a walk, talking to a friend, reading a good book, etc.  But sometimes our little things can be unhealthy choices like smoking cigarettes, drinking to excess, or overeating.  All of which I have personally struggled with.  The "joy" that we get from these unhealthy vices is not real joy.  It's temporary comfort and it will only get us so far and then leave us with nothing.

When we spend all your time and energy focusing on these temporary comforts, they become our only source of happiness.  We've all experienced those days where all we want to do is have a cigarette or a drink or a Big Mac and it will make everything better.  We become so obsessed with obtaining our little comfort that we start to ignore all the things that could actually give us true joy.  What's worse, is these little vices usually steal away our energy to pursue the things that would bring us true joy.  For example, the things in my life that bring me true joy are achieving goals, getting in shape, spending time with family and friends and creating music.  When I sit at home and eat pizza and ice cream all day, this temporary comfort steals away my energy and motivation to do anything else.  I feel bloated, lethargic and gross.  Now, instead of pursuing those things that would bring me real joy, I only have the energy to watch Netflix and go to bed.

The real joy comes when we conquer our addictions and achieve our goals.  It comes from changing our bad behaviors and embracing new ones that will guide us to victory.  Losing 20 pounds, that's true joy.  Spending time with people who love you, that's true joy.  Pursuing your dream job, that's true joy.  I know when I start to feel miserable it's because I am spending all my energy on temporary comforts and I don't have enough things in my life that are feeding me real joy.

I know change is hard.  And breaking bad habits takes time.  But while you are working on that, make sure you have lots of "joy givers" in your life every day.  Go outside.  Go for a walk  See more sunsets and sunrises.  Go to more movies.  Go to more concerts and Broadway shows.  Get involved in community events.  Get a dog.  And give money to everyone who asks.  Give more.  Love more.  And go achieve your goals.  That’s where we find true joy.  And eventually, you will be so busy with these true joy giving activities, that you will eventually not have any time or energy left for the ones that steal it away.  And I don't know about you, but that would make me pretty darn happy!

Rainbow Connection by Kermit The Frog

Sometimes you just need to listen to a hopeful frog sing about rainbows.

SONGS THAT HELP BY SOUL MOTIVATION RECORDS

Rainbow Connection.  It's a classic song that we all know but I think we often forget about how great of a song it is.  It's cute and funny to watch Kermit The Frog sing, but if you really listen to the song, it has a great message and a beautiful melody.  This is a song I keep coming back to time and time again.  And although it seems like a song for kids, the older I get, the more I appreciate it.  Over the years there have been many great artists who have recorded it, but nothing beats the original.

Someday we'll find it.  The rainbow connection.

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