How To Stop Making Assumptions


Why do we always assume the worst about people?  Sometimes we don't even realize we do it.  I know it sounds a little crazy, but I always assume people think the worst of me.  I assume people think I am not "cool" or "savvy."  I assume people don't believe in me.  I assume people are laughing at me behind my back.  Now, I am not doing this on purpose.  I am not making a conscious decision to be paranoid.  And I know that these statements are not true.  But these thoughts are the result of years bad programming.  Years of being too hard on myself.  Years of not loving myself.  And even though that has changed dramatically over the past few years, that old programming is still present in my mind.  It lives deep in my subconscious.  It keeps replaying like that really annoying song that gets stuck in your head.  If you like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain, then you know what I'm talking about.

So how do we change this old programming?  How do we eliminate all these lies we keep telling ourselves?  

The answer is you saturate your mind with truth.  

I was determined to not let the negativity overcome me.  So I started doing daily affirmations that spoke truth into my mind.  I started reading books on positivity.  I started listening to podcasts and YouTube videos that would bombard my mind with positivity and motivation.  I started hanging out with positive people.  And over time, the truth was revealed:

I am assuming people have the worst opinion of me.  And this is making me miserable.  It's time for a change.  

So I asked myself "Self, what if I always assumed the best about people?  Or what if I just assumed that everyone loves me?  Or better yet, what if I just assumed that it doesn't really matter what people think?  I can't read people's minds.  That is not my superpower.  So what if I started finding the courage to ask questions?  To stop ASSUMING what people are thinking and start ASKING them!"  

What a concept!  I realized a lot of pain and suffering in my life has come from this one bad habit.  I decided I needed to work on not making assumptions anymore.  I need to have the courage to ask questions and to express what I really want.  What I really need.  And wouldn't you know it, things started to change when I did this.  I started waking up happier.  I started worrying less.  I started finding amazing opportunities right and left.  I started making music again!  The list of changes is endless and I know it isn't finished yet.

Am I fixed?  No.  I am a work in progress for sure.  But I don't think that is the point anyway.  The point is to become aware of the thoughts that are making you miserable and do the work to change them.  And in that work, true happiness is found.  So be strong.  Be confident.  Be honest and you will get the things you want out of life.  The universe told me so. :)

What is the universe telling you right now?  Please share in the comment section below!

Chris Swan
Founder and CEO

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