The new single from Chris Swan and Soul Motivation Records is coming 5.1.19!
Welcome to the Fellowship is here!
Chris Swan’s sophomore release from Soul Motivation Records! Welcome To The Fellowship contains 10 songs that chronicle Swan’s story of struggle, recovery and ultimately hope!
“My mission with this record is to help others overcome their obstacles and to find the hope that is waiting for them,” says Swan.
I know hearing other people's stories has been a huge inspiration in my recovery. So I thought I'd share mine. Hope you find some hope in it today.
Fear rules so many of our lives. Sometimes it’s silly little things like being scared of mice. That’s me. Mice really freak me out.
But sometimes the fears are bigger and much more damaging, like the fear of what other people think of us. We are so scared of not being accepted by people that we become overly cautious of what we let people see of ourselves. As life goes on, we start stock piling secrets like an apocalyptic survivalist hoards water and canned goods. The only difference is our stash is going to kill us, not save us.
So many of us cling to our secrets trying desperately to keep them hidden from the world. We are all so convinced that our closeted skeletons are so much worse than anyone else’s. We think things like…
“Yea, we all have problems but I’m REALLY messed up! No one would understand how messed up I am.”
Our fear is that if we let people see behind the curtain, they will judge us and think we are awful people beyond repair. Perhaps they will tell others how messed up we are or post our secrets on social media. Perhaps they will start talking about us behind our backs. Or what if they call the psych ward and have us committed?! We are constantly telling ourselves…
“If people knew the real me, I would lose all my friends and end up a hated outcast.”
The truth is people have way more empathy than we give them credit for. People want to see our flaws because it makes them feel better about their own. It also bonds us and brings us closer when we make ourselves vulnerable and share our inner most secrets.
Finally, we can’t continue to hold onto these secrets and expect to stay healthy and sober. This is precisely what has made us so sick in the past and if we expect to continue on a path of bettering ourselves, it is crucial that we put everything out on the table.
It’s time to clean out our closets. Our lives and our relationships depend upon our honesty and transparency. We need to not let fear rule us. We need to push on through and let the world see who we really are. It will help us experience a freedom like no other and people will love us for it.
P.S. I am giving away three of my most popular, inspiring songs for FREE. Just enter your name and email below and I’ll send them to you right now!
"I always thought that I was supposed to try to be perfect."
I am a perfectionist. Always have been since I was a little kid. Almost to the point of being obsessive about some things. I am very grateful that God made me this way because it drives me to work hard and to strive to be better. But it has also brought its challenges.
My goal has always been perfection. I don’t think I really realized that in my conscious mind for a long time, but in my subconscious mind that has always been what I was trying to achieve. And the reason is this:
If I’m perfect, then no one can hurt me.
If I have no flaws and I am superior at everything I do, then no one can say anything negative about me. Even better, if they do, I’ll know they are crazy because I’m perfect. I have no flaws. My pursuit of perfectionism was my defense mechanism. I know this is true because even to this day if someone says something bad about me or I feel inferior somehow, I get a drive in the pit of my stomach to go be the best at something. That’s when I want to practice the most, or write songs or study something. Because I want to be able to prove to them that I am amazing. So I go to work mumbling under my breath “I’ll show them!”
The real result of this mindset has been constant failure and a very deep, dark depression. I could never live up to my expectations of myself, therefore, I was always failing. Instead of being the best at something, I was a loser at everything. I began to hate myself because of this. And it got worse and worse as I got older. Until one day I looked in the mirror and I was a 500+ pound alcoholic.
I was frustrated and sad constantly. I could never accept love from other people because I didn’t love myself. I was lonely. Never good at long term relationships. I was finding comfort in food and alcohol. Like A LOT of food and alcohol! And I was barely hanging on to life. On the outside I seemed cool, laid back and fun. But on the inside I was steaming mad at myself, stressed out and angry.
Is this what being perfect is all about?
I finally had to accept the fact that I will never be perfect. Ever. It is hard for me to even type that sentence right now. But I finally know that it’s true. And I know it has been a big source of pain in my life. I have to let it go.
Now, I am striving to be perfectly imperfect. I laugh at myself a lot because I really love who I am. The pressure is off. I can be me and use all that energy I use to put towards trying to be perfect towards something that matters. Like making music that will change people’s lives. Telling my story to those who need to hear it. And being a part of a community again full of imperfect folks just like me.
I wrote a song all about my struggle with perfectionism called….ready for it…”Perfect.” If perfectionism is something you struggle with, I hope you’ll take a minute to check it out. I think you will be able to relate to a lot of it. And I think you may walk away knowing you are already perfect the way you are.
Coming October 1st, 2018!
P.S. Funny side note. I made a few short promotional videos announcing this single to the world. On accident, I misspelled a word in two of them. After publishing them to my Facebook page, I noticed I had misspelled a word. I could have taken them down and fixed it. The old me wanted to. But I decided to leave them up. What a fitting tribute to a song called “Perfect.” :)
Lost? Not sure where to go next?
Announcing the new single from Chris Swan and Soul Motivation Records...
I always thought that I was suppose to try to be perfect.
It turns out I was wrong.
Coming October 1st, 2018
Lost? Not sure where to go next?