I owe you an apology. I'm sorry I walked away from you all those years ago. I just couldn't handle how much you had changed. When we met, you use to inspire me with your clever lyrics and thought provoking prose. You use to make my day better with your infectious beats. I remember, spending entire days hanging out with you. Back in the day, I use to lose sleep because I was so excited for my Columbia House CD's to arrive. I knew with each package that was delivered to my house, you would deliver to me so much truth, hope, joy and excitement. I knew every time you showed up at my house, I was going to learn something new. I was going to experience something I've never experienced before. And I would be inspired and challenged to create my own songs that were even half as good as the ones you gave me.
But then you changed.
You became bitter and dark. You began to focus entirely on the negatives in the world. You began to lose your wit and wordplay that use to inspire me so much. Soon, all you wanted to talk about was girls, jewelry and money. It seemed like all you cared about was immediate gratification because you saw the world as messed up beyond compare. And don't get me wrong, I like all those things too, but come on man. There's more to you than that.
Look, I know you've been through a lot. I know you have had to watch a lot of injustice done to you, your friends and your family. I know you've been pissed at the world. And I totally understand why. I'm pretty pissed too, sometimes. But I know there is still hope inside you. I know the world is not a perfect place, but you always helped me see the better side of people. You always helped me see the good that still exists in the world. And I need you now. We all do. More than ever.
I'm not saying you can't go out and fight some battles. That's part of your responsibilities too. But please don't turn your back on all the good stuff. And please don't let people make you part of the problem. You are above all that. And it's time to show the world who you really are.
I'm really sorry I didn't understand all this better all those years ago. I was young and naive. Instead of trying to understand you better, I just gave up. I should have stuck with you and encouraged you all this time, but I thought you had given up so why shouldn't I?
I was wrong.
You've always been there, trying to figure this all out. I can't control you. You are free to be who you want to be. So I am going to let you be free. I promise I will always look for the good in you because I know it is always there. And I'll be here with you during the bad times too. Right by your side. Rooting you on.
Thank you for being such a huge part of my life. I'll never leave you again. And I really believe you were meant to change the world. I'm here to help in anyway I can.
You're #1 fan.