Remember when you were a kid and something made you sad and you had no problem telling the world about it? It was now your duty to make sure the whole world knew just how sad you were. You would throw a tantrum, looking out of the corner of your eye to make sure everyone was watching. And if one person was not paying attention, then you would cry just a little bit louder. Nothing else in the world mattered except making sure people knew that you were sad. When did that change? It's amazing how emotionally healthy we really are when we are kids. When something hurts, you tell someone. When you are sad, you feel the pain and cry until you feel better. Only later in life do we learn to stifle our emotions. In attempts to appear strong, confident or brave, we work really hard to make sure people think we never hurt. The real effect of this is that we don't acknowledge the emotion to ourselves either. If we allow ourselves to feel the emotion, we won't be able to contain ourselves and then the world will know we are weak.
What happened to our emotional health?
So many adults live in a quiet desperation. Happy on the outside and miserable on the inside. And then we see how happy everyone else is and think there is something wrong with us which makes us more miserable. What do we do with all this misery? We shove it down our throats into the depths of our soul and hope it never comes out to play again. We bury it in a pile of sugar and cheese, we wash it down with beer and vodka, we try to suffocate it with cigarette and weed smoke, and if none of that does the trick, there is a whole pharmacy available to us with legal and illegal options to finish it all off. We are so desperate to not have to face our inner emotions that we spend thousands of dollars trying to avoid it, even though it is just going to be there again tomorrow. It is an insane cycle that many of us find ourselves stuck in.
How do we break through the emotional wall?
The problem is we all live in fear. We are scared that if we face our emotions head on and break through that wall, all we will find on the other side is a life of sadness and misery. A life where we can't function normally. A life that is worse than the one we are living now. We feel like if we tap into our sadness, we will never be able to turn it off again. But this could not be further from the truth.
The answer is to be brave, stand up, take a deep breath and face those emotions head on. Let yourself feel every bit of sadness. Break down the wall and let yourself cry for as long as it takes. Feel it. Own it. Let it in. And eventually an amazing thing happens - you realize that this is the worst it can get. The crying, the sadness; it doesn't get any worse. And if it doesn't get any worse, then it can only get better. And I promise you this...
IT WILL GET BETTER!
But only if you are willing to face these emotions once and for all. To let go of the fear and go all in. And remember, you are not alone. Your friends, your family, and I am here to help you through the hard part. We are so ready to grab a sledge hammer and help you break down that wall. All you have to do is ask. And I promise, if you do that, if you stand up, take a deep breath and start breaking down that wall, what awaits you on the other side is a life of total freedom.
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